Saturday, May 07, 2005


i'm at work. i'm freaking bored. i could be working on one of my million final papers due in the next week, or i could be packing, or doing laundry, or anything productive. but i'm chained to a desk for the next two hours. figured i'd ramble in here for awhile to pass the time. it's sad how i'm not used to really writing things anymore. or maybe it's just because i'm at work and don't feel like i can really write. i don't know. i think i'm just burnt out. i need to find benny and joon. can't believe i don't own that movie.
can't believe everything is changing in the next week or so. i'll be done with the semester, moving, crazy stuff. craig will be home, and we'll be in the same zip code for the first time in months. and he won't be leaving after a day, or even a week. in fact, i don't know when he'll be leaving at all. and it makes me nervous. will i be spending time with him? i can't imagine that i won't. but what if i do? i'll probably end up falling in love all over again, not that i ever fell out, and then what? this explains the dreams ive been having, the ones that are keeping me up all night.
why is he the biggest thing in my world? you wouldn't think that'd be so easy to answer. he makes me happy. or maybe he doesn't. he doesn't actively have to do a single thing, and i'm happy just being around him. knowing him.
i don't know of much else that has that effect on me...and maybe that's my problem, i don't know. i just know there's a lot involved here, and i'm thinking way too much, and i don't want to be disappointed.
i basically keep typing in this thing because i like the style.
1 hour, 40 minutes. or something. i can't keep track.


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